At first you say, so I am not dying of cancer this year. You don't say HURRAY, in our experience. It takes days to process the news. You get around to looking at Valley Fever on the Internet and remember the way your torso on the PET scan was lighted up all around with Valley Fever. You get around to realizing that brilliant medical experts can be wrong, that Valley Fever can really present as a lesion on an eye (even a "good" eye). You read of how many strong young football players die of this disease and how many older people die or never fully recover. This is a bad disease to have, you gradually realize. You realize that your ambition may exceed your ability to achieve. You can work on ORNERY PEOPLE a few hours a day productively, but you can't do all your heart desires. You think how long it has been since you made Brother Rick's Rolls from Mike's gift of the Jesuit Baking Secrets book and how everyone in the house loves your Brother Rick's rolls and say, next morning, next morning I will do it, then get up and lean against the marble slab and admit that you cannot stand there for that many minutes. Bedrest. I did 5 months of it for TB in 1956 reading only Shakespeare, up only to go to the bathroom. Now, an hour is refreshing, enough. The bitter pills work. I could tell the difference the second day. But I am 12 pounds lighter and very weak. I would be happy to stay 12 pounds lighter and be strong like the young football player who died of this. This is a real disease, and by body is still, as they say "riddled" with it. But to have it diagnosed and treated! HURRAY.
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