A model apology from 1826 for all who have been naughty in 2013

From a Tuscumbia, Alabama paper, 1826

Notice.—I do hereby certify, that I, Charles C. M’Clure, last from Tuscaloosa, and now in the town of Columbus, Mississippi, have been guilty of uttering the most infamous, villainous and hellishly slanderous falsehoods against the character of a portion of the family of Major Jesse Weaver of the aforesaid town of Columbus, and also that I have threatened the life of Mr. Thomas Morford, and that I do hereby acknowledge that I feel thankful that I have even a hope of escaping the just vengeance of said gentlemen, with that merited from every honest and good citizen, not only of this town, but that I do not deserve the countenance of lenity ever again to shine upon me.

          In acknowledgment to all of which I do fix my hand and seal in the presence of the witnesses, and thank them that they even condescend to sign their names as witnesses against me.

                    C. C. M’Clure.

Some of my Sims folks were there:

THE TUSCUMBIAN - FRIENDLY TO EQUAL RIGHTS & PRIVILEGES - November 29, 1826

{ NOTICE } On the 20th day of December next we will proceed to sell at the home of James Smith dec'd 11 
October 1826 at La Grange; the following property, to Witt; House hold and kitchen furniture; some farming 
utensils - stock of HOGS and CATTLE; a quantity of shingles & On the following day we will proceed to sell 
at the plantation of said dec'd five miles east of Tuscumbia, quality of CORN & FODDER, HORSES & MULES' 
about eighty head of SHEEP, and a number of fine BEEF CATTLE, several yoke OXEN and WAGONS, with a variety of 
other articles, too numerous to mention, A credit of nine months will be given the purchaser giving bond with 
approved security, JOHN HOGAN, JAMES N. SMITH.

{ Notice } I, do hereby certify that I Charles C. Mclure, last from Tuscumbia and now in the  Town of Columbus 
Mississippi, have been guilty of uttering the most infamous, hellishly slanderous falsehood against the character 
of a portion of the family of Maj. Jesse Weaver, the aforesaid town of Columbus, and also that I have threatened 
the Mr. Thomas Morford, and I hereby acknowledge that I felt thankful that I have even a hope of escaping the 
just vengeance of said gentleman, with that merited from every honest and good citizen, only of this town, but 
that I do deserve the countenance. I acknowledgement to all which I do fix my hand and seal the presence of the 
witnesses and thank them that they even consent to sign their names as witnesses against me. C. C. Mclure, 
Witnesses, G. W. Sims, John W. Blundell, James Sims, T. R. Norman, W. W. Humphries, C. H. Abert, Erasmus Potts, 
W. B. Patterson.